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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23138209">Undeserving</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamingAstrid/pseuds/DreamingAstrid'>DreamingAstrid</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abandonment, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Cancer, Established Relationship, F/M, Flashbacks, Love, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Married Couple, Memories, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mentions of Cancer, Rey Needs A Hug, Rey Solo, Sad, Soft Ben Solo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 08:47:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>628</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23138209</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamingAstrid/pseuds/DreamingAstrid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ben Solo's heart has been broken before, but it has never been quite as broken during the night he saw Rey for the last time.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kylo Ren/Rey, Leia Organa/Ben Solo/Han Solo, Leia Organa/Han Solo, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Undeserving</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Here it is, my first modern reylo AU!<br/>Please enjoy and thank you :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"Mrs Solo..." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Unfortunate news..."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Regret..." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Cancer..."</em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Relapsed..."</em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Stage four..."</em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Mrs solo..."</em>
</p><p>"Mrs Solo..."</p><p>"Mrs Solo? Are you hearing me?" Sound surrounding her returns; her significant heavy breathing fades into the background of her hearing.</p><p>Hazel eyes find a face. Rey's attention hones in onto Dr Michaels, her focus tearing away from the baby blue painted walls of his office. "Yes, I heard you." She clears her throat, clasping her hands on her lap.</p><p>Her fingers slide the manila envelope containing the X-rays over to her side of the desk. She unzips her backpack before depositing it inside.</p><p>She's trembling. Not from fear. Not from the possibility that this may be the relapse that finally did the job. But from anger.</p><p>The scene of her impending funeral pops up in her imagination.</p><p>Its raining.</p><p>A coffin is being lowered into her grave. The priest, reciting a prayer; Leia and Han are clutching onto one another. Luke looks the most sullen. Finn, Poe and Rose have pain etched in their features,and Rose needs Poe's help to keep her upright. She can hear her sobs; the result of losing her best friend.</p><p>Rey can't imagine Ben there. That's the only time she draws a blank. </p><p>She thinks about her cold corpse next. Where would she go? That causes a mild panic, as she lurches back into reality.</p><p>"Is that all?" She grabs her backpack and slings it over her shoulder, pushing her chair back as she stands. It makes a terrible scraping sound. She grinds her teeth together, the sound going straight to them. </p><p>"No, we have to discuss t-the treatment appointments-" The doctor rushes, pushing himself off the edge of his desk, nearly knocking down his pencil holder. He comes around to Rey, desperately seeking her understanding.</p><p>Rey is hardly a pessimist, but she can sense the hopelessness of this situation.</p><p>"I'm sure you can handle it doctor. Send me an email. My schedule is open." She smiles, perhaps forcefully, he couldn't tell yet. He cringes as he starts, his eyes following her movements.</p><p>"Rey..."</p><p>That dreaded tone. It meant she was in trouble if she didn't listen. She knew it from Plutt, and then from Luke. Michaels suspicion of Rey's intent on ignoring his emails was a strong one. She had done it before.</p><p>"I do care." She snaps, brown eyes wide.

Rey adjusts her bag, shifting from feet to feet before she continues. 

It takes seconds to compose herself. "I do. It may not look like it now. But I do. However, Doctor, trying only gets me so far, before i'm back at square one all over again." She says slowly, making her way to the door, hand resting on the knob. She looks over a shoulder, an expression of sadness donning her.

</p><p>Michaels drags the silence for what feels like a millenia, before removing his spectacles and sighing. 

"I'm truly sorry Rey." He drags his right hand down the side of his face. He knew, treatment would hardly help to have the odds on her side, but he had always seen the cup as half full.

</p><p>Scheduling chemotherapy and counselling would definitely be worth the shot, especially for someone with the steel of youth; Like Rey.

</p><p>She faces the door, frowning slightly. "I know you are. Thank you, have a wonderful day."

</p><p>Michaels stutters but gives up when she makes her move. He would organise appointments, and she would check her emails. She had to.

</p><p>Rey pulls the door open and strides down the sterile white hallway to the parking lot; the manila envelope's presence in her backpack making it seem like there were bricks inside instead.</p><p>Perhaps she could fall backwards, crash through the infinite levels of the Earth; And wake up from this nightmare.</p>
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